'Did You Get My Text!?'

Darren Criss. Chris Colfer. Blaine Anderson. Kurt Hummel. Glee. November 8th. StarKid. Torchwood. John Barrowman. Tom Felton. Twitter. I Hate Facebook. I hate Glee Haters. Red Vines. Pot Noodles. Slushies. Diet Coke. Sharpies. Converses. Michael Jackson. Gavin & Stacey.
"Red Vines. What the hell can't they do!?"
"Puppy! Puppy! Puppy!.....A book? Ewww Gross!"
"You move me, Kurt."
"If he and I were married, the GAP would give me 30% discount."
"So it's just like When Harry Met Sally?"
"That's what Masturbations for."